Funny how when we ask God to lead us or grow us in an area, it can be asking for serious trouble! Such was the outcome of a challenge presented to me (and our fellowship) by a dear friend and mentor in Christ. The scripture was presented and the question posed as follows:
“But the manifestation of the Spirit is given to each one for the profit of all: for to one is given the word of wisdom throught the Spirit, to another the word of knowledge through the same Spirit, to another faith by the same Spirit, to another gifts of healings by the same Spirit, to another the working of miracles, to another prophecy, to another discerning of spirits, to another different kinds of tongues, to another the interpretation of tongues. But one and the same Spirit works all these things, distributing to each one individually as He wills.” 1 Corinthians 12:7-11
“What manifestion of the Spirit would we like to see more of in our lives? The more we are active in the gifts and minstries that God works through us, the more the Church will be encouraged and built up. These things are not for ouselves but for the Church.”
My answer, foolishly :P was… “faith”.
And so began a walk that exposed my lack of faith, which is why I really can’t call this post “My Faith Walk” but rather “My Walk Into Faith.”
And this is what it was all about:
Meet the newest member of our family, baby Sophie. She’s a happy, content, perfect little girl who has no idea of the ups and downs I went through while the Lord carefully knit her together in my womb. And what a fearful and wonderful job He did!
There was never any concern for Sophie’s health (or my own), the only issue was that she spent the entire second half of my pregnancy in the breech position. This was a new one for me…fourth baby and never faced this before. You can now ask me lots of questions about breech babies…I’ve given Dr Google a workout!
I have discovered that much faith building is done in the mind; it’s here that the battle for our heart is fought. I could trust God in some areas, and to certain extents but my faith was limited by my mindsets. I also discovered that while I could confidently trust God to do His part, I wasn’t certain I could do my part. I was afraid to stand up in opposition to what medical society would deem as “good medical standard practices” to wait for God. As it happened, I didn’t have to stand up for my right to not have a C-Section, as Sophie turned thanks to an ECV (external cephalic version) proceedure. (This was another faith building exercise!)
I would now estimate that my faith is approximately the size of a mustard seed, but at least I know it is there! I also know that it is there “for the profit of all,” and I must share it whenever I can; and oh! how I want to!
“Above all, taking the shield of faith with which you will be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one.” Ephesians 6:16
I experienced faith in all it’s protective glory one afternoon during my 37th week of pregnancy. My baby remained stubbornly breech after a failed ECV when, through a “well-meaning” relative, the enemy’s darts came thick and fast. But I trusted God. In my heart I knew what God was capable of, and not one of those poisonous words meant to bring fear and doubt were able to penetrate. It was exactly like I had arrows falling uselessly to the ground at my feet. The imagery at the time was so vivid. Even as she was speaking it was as if I could see the spiritual world at work. This is what a mustard seed of faith can do. It is not that we must stand up for our faith, so to speak, but that our faith stands up for us. When we need it most, it is there! Hallelujah!
Another amazing point that has come out of my “study” on faith, is that it is not faith that we seek…it is God! As we look at Him our faith grows and builds. It is not something we have to work on – we work on our relationship with Him. It is not our faith that we trust in, but Him! Such an obvious thing but revolutionary when it drops solidly into our hearts and is etched there.
One final point that was a major headline in my 40 week walk (well, 41…she made me wait – patience was worked on too ;) ), was that “fear is the opposite of faith.” The weapon to counter fear, I found, is love.
“For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” 2 Timothy 1:7
When you can say “God loves me” and you know it in your heart, you can trust Him. He does love us, so we can trust Him! At this, fear flees! (Saying it out loud helps. ;) ) Again, when it is etched more deeply in your heart, then it is revolutionary to our minds and our mindsets!
This experience has been a preparation. There are faith testing times coming as the day of our Lord draws ever nearer, and I know that now I am more ready to face whatever lies ahead. Learning to use our weapons (and dress in our armor) of warfare is ever needful as the end of the age comes upon us. This is what the Lord does as He completes His work in us. As we spend time with Him, he dresses us; first in a robe of righteousness, then we can put on His armor!
Sophie is nearly four months old already, to give you an indication of how far behind I am in getting to my blog, but I am still reading my favourite blogs even if I don’t comment often. Perhaps as I get used to the new routine of life I can be a bit more active in the blogging world; I love the encouragement I get from you all. Thanks for your patience and your continued diligence to your own blogs.
(I didn’t make this post a complete pregnancy testimony, however I will probably write one in the near future as I discovered there is not a lot of positive information on the internet regarding breech issues. People are pleased to post negative experiences and comments under the guise of “warning” people, but this only feeds fear and anxiety for those with breech presenting babies. The options I took were positive experiences with favourable outcomes contrary to what people on the net said I should expect. But more on that in my pregnancy post…in the meantime, if anyone has any specific questions or if you are pregnant with a baby presenting in the breech postition and have come accross this post, feel free to comment or ask a question, I’ll be more than happy to share directly. :D )