Yesterday I cried. Sometimes emotions can hurt physically.

I am amazed at God’s mercy and grace. He forgives and then remembers our sin no more…I forgive, but then sometimes, I remember, and have to forgive again!

I am so blessed because of forgiveness. Had I not forgiven but held on to bitterness, I would not have my two youngest, beautiful children. I, too, required forgiveness, which having received, I am so thankful for. God restores and blesses beyond what we can hope for.

I was not recalling these things as I drove along with tears streaming down my face. My thoughts were selfish. It hurts to love sometimes. It hurts to understand. It hurts to be happy for things which cause you pain. (Kind of like being happy about the salt you are about to put on a mouth ulcer, you know it’s good for you but, eeouch!) It hurts to forgive. It hurts to die.

“It hurts to die.” It was this thought that brought me out of my selfish “it’s not fair” whine to God. I realized that when we love and forgive because God tells us we must, even though it hurts, because He loves and forgives us, a little bit more of our “self” dies.

“A little bit more of our self dies.” This made me glad…I wish I would hurry up and die completely! 🙂

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